Take Time to Focus on YOU


It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary. – Mandy Hale

Many of us grow up being taught to be selfless. To give of yourself to others and to put their needs ahead of your own. I agree with this for the most part and know from experience that helping others can bring you real happiness, distract you from your own problems, and help put your problems them into perspective when you see that, really, everyone has struggles of some kind or another and we need to help each other through them.

However, (yes, here comes the “but”) when you are dealing with a mental illness you need to IGNORE some of this. Telling yourself and hearing that you need to just start thinking about others and realize that “there’s always someone who has it worse”? Isn’t going to help. If you’re depressed or anxious you’re probably overwhelmed enough as it is. You don’t need added pressure. It’s okay to focus on yourself. You’re not going to be any help to anyone else if you can’t take care of yourself first. So don’t try and don’t feel bad about it. Realize that you’re taking time to learn to be easier on yourself, to take care of yourself and to make YOU happy so that, later, you can focus on and help your family, friends, ect, better than you’re able to right now.

You need to be able to love and care for yourself in order to love and take care of anyone else properly. This doesn’t mean cutting off all human ties and relationships, but it means letting THEM help YOU for a change. Allow yourself to take the time to do things that you enjoy and find relaxing. To do the things you know you need to in order to get through this. In the long run it will benefit both you and those who you are close to.

I’m discovering that happiness is contagious. I had to stop worrying so much about what everyone else was thinking of me. I had to stop stressing about how I thought I was making them unhappy. Then, when I accepted that was just how things were right now and learned that they didn’t love me any less for it? When I stopped trying to hide how I was feeling in an attempt keep people from leaving me? I realized that THEY were happier because I was happier. Overall it means less stress for everyone and allows me to relax and be okay with taking as much time as I need to care for me! (:

Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know.

Well now they know.

Let it go!

– Frozen

photo credit: DonnaGrayson via photopin cc

The way I see i…

The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant. – The Eleventh Doctor

So… I’ve been on a major Doctor Who kick lately (read: I have watched six seasons in the last week. Heh… don’t judge me!)

All nerdiness aside, I thought that this was a great quote to remember. My depression/anxiety/whatever has made me somewhat of a perfectionist. When I was little that meant straightening books and pictures and making sure everything was even and balanced. That part of me has gotten much more relaxed over the years but I feel like it has transitioned into feeling the need for ME to be perfect.

This has been a major hindrance for me because I feel it has to be “all or nothing”, that I’m either “good or bad”. No inbetween. If I know that I can’t stick to a perfect schedule of exercising or relaxation techniques or writing in my journal everyday or whatever it may be that would help me feel better? If I can’t do it as much as I think I should be able to? I won’t do it at all. In my head, not trying is better than failing because I can’t handle anymore disappointment and frustration.

I am working on this however and trying to be more accepting of my limitations and trying to give myself credit for what I am able to do. Therefore taking off some of the pressure which is nice.

Do any of you share any similar feelings? What do you do about them?