Yesterday’s agenda: Travel 2 hours away to go see my therapist, do some shopping afterwards.
Yesterday’s temperature: 78 degrees.
Yesterday’s main issue: Ran out of lightweight long sleeved t-shirts to wear (why can I never remember to do laundry??), grabbed a sweatshirt on my way out the door though.
Result of yesterday’s temperature and issue: It ended up being too freaking hot to wear my sweatshirt!
I digress, basically, I have never shown my cuts, burns, or scars (which cover mainly my left arm and right thigh) to anyone other than my parents and boyfriend. The self harming thing has been a lot better lately but I did end up cutting a couple of times last week. I’ve thought a lot about showing my scars in public, since I’m trying to stop and summer is getting really close and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to avoid it. I’ve never considered showing them before they were scars though or before I was done self harming.
Apparently though, yesterday I didn’t really care. I was going to a city where I didn’t know hardly anyone, and the people I did see (or who saw me) I’d never see again. So whyyy would I care if they saw my cuts?
Considering that I am usually ridiculously nervous just going out in public where there are *gasp* people! This was pretty shocking even to me.
First place we went into I did get nervous but as the day went on (and my therapist assured me that people don’t notice us as much as we think they do) and I realized no one was paying any attention to my uncovered arm? I was able to relax and be pretty okay with it (:
I still don’t plan on showing my scars around people I know until cutting is something in my past, but going out yesterday has given me a little more confidence for when I DO decide to show them.
In conclusion, do what makes YOU comfortable. Anyone who does judge isn’t worth your time and doesn’t really care about you so why should their opinion matter? And for the most part, they’re not going to notice anyway (: Hang in there!
Have any of you, that self injure, shown your scars in public?